Tuesday, December 23, 2008
lame but funny :D - '9:42 PM
(1)
Dad:hey lets go play some b-ball
son:No, i am working on runescape maybe later.
xxxxx three days go by xxxxx
dad:now can we play some b-ball
son:No im still working on runescape
dad: you have been on it for days its time to stop!
(*dad turns off pc)
son:i hate you i will never speak to you again!
lol.. what a bitchy son.. imagine a guy saying : " i hate you" because of a game.. :D so girlish
(2)
There is this couple, and the wife is very self conscious. She is always asking her husband if she is still pretty, if she is too fat, and if her boobs are okay. Well, one day she is standing in front of the mirror naked and asks her husband, 'Honey, are my boobs too small? 'No, honey, they are fine.' He replies. 'Are you sure?'' Yes, but if you want to make them bigger, then why don't you try rubbing toilet paper between them. 'So for the next couple of weeks the wife rubs toilet paper between her boobs several times a day. At the end of a couple of weeks she gets in front of the mirror again. 'Honey, where did you get the idea that this toilet paper thing would work? 'Well, you have been rubbing toilet paper between your ass all these years and that's getting bigger!'(3)
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is:"
"Always keep your condoms in your car." (4)
These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
lol.. sex : not yet XD what is he thinking lar... dirty minded... and sign here : aries !!!! what on earth!! hahahaha... i won't be caught doing that :D
(5)
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
fall out of tree, not see.
......NO FEE
Labels: chia, jokes
♥ chia desu
